What are you wearing…?

I first connected to the internet in 1986 using my BBC Home Micro and a dial up solid connection modem at 2400 bits per second. It would take me a week to download a monochrome image of Sam Fox with her briskets out. Thanks to connection speeds on Freeserve I have been able to re-live those days – Freeserve customer, 2001

The internet is dead.

I remember 1998 and 1999. The wonder of it all. Aladdin’s cave. Pandora’s box. Just two of the sites I visited. I couldn’t get enough. Information at my fingertips. The New World Library. Broad-minded cheerleaders. These days the content is more visually sophisticated, with grown up multi-media, animation, bells and whistles, but few web sites actually hold my interest anymore. My surfing has narrowed to BBC News, online shopping, a bit of Wikipedia and personal blogs that interest me. Beyond that the internet’s main attractiveness (after bill paying) now lies in its ability to connect us to other people. You too can talk, masturbate with and marry (via an online ceremony with I-Click.com) a Texas death row criminal thanks to the wonders of MSN Messenger. Share a cyber drink with work colleagues (thanks for that) on Facebook and find out how the old school bully is getting along on Friends Reunited. But where’s the time? Parkinson’s Law. The same twenty-four hours, four times the work. Ten times the expectations. I have a friend who is a systems analyst. He preaches his vision of a Cyber Utopia. Our time liberated. A day’s work done in two hours, the remainder spent wind surfing while listening to classical music. He has no conception of time and motion. It will never happen. Management will see to it that we have to upgrade our minds like Intel chips. Work faster, harder. For the same money.

Anyway, I’m going to fire up the web cam. Buster in Alabama State Pen is waiting for me. Have a virtual pint on me. Cheers.

Spencer Lodge


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