Lady Macca: Paul made me dress up like Ringo

Thursday 26th October 2006

The latest bizarre twist in the McCartney marriage rupture broke upon a shocked press last night as Lady Heather Mills-McCartney revealed that estranged husband Paul used to make her dress like former Beatles drummer and voice of Thomas the Tank Engine Ringo Starr during kinky love-making sessions.

‘It was degrading,’ former model and charity campaigner, Lady Heather sobbed. ‘But I did it out of love. That’s all Paul said we needed.’

Pervy Paul would insist that sexy Lady Heather don a black 1963 Beatles wig and tap out the 4/4 beat to ‘She Loves You’ across the erstwhile mop-top’s withered buttocks with drumsticks. ‘Then grabbing hold of me, he would scream, “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” at the crucial moment,’ Lady Heather confided tearfully.

‘He had a stash of the wigs,’ a plucky Lady Heather said, ‘stockpiled from the 60s. He always said that they’d be worth a bob or two on eBay. He had some ‘Fab Four’ lunch boxes and some autographed pictures by John, George and Ringo as well. He kept them in the garage.’

Broadminded mono-ped Heather, 38, who starred in a series of soft porn teen masturbation-fodder movies in her 20s, claims that Sir Paul, knighted in 1997, who following his time in the Beatles went on to enjoy success in the 1970s with super-group Wings, gave her a satin military suit for their first wedding anniversary – an exact replica of the one worn by Starr on the iconic Sgt. Pepper album cover. ‘He even had a stick on Zapata moustache that he’d had fashioned from stray locks of Ringo’s hair that he’d sometimes insist that I wear even though he knew it made me sneeze. What should have been the loving, passionate embraces of a husband and wife were turned into a grotesque parody. It was like a weird orgy at a Beatles convention.’

The McCartneys, who first met in 1999, were married in 2002 at a lavish celebrity wedding at Castle Leslie in Ireland where best man, gay crooner Elton John, was seen to finger Paul’s ring nervously before the ceremony.

Lady Heather
Kitted up for action. Mills-McCartney … an artist’s impression of Mills as former Beatles sticksman Ringo Starr

Picture: Clive Tregarron


One comment

  1. Bootneck · September 20, 2008

    Flump says…… and I quote;


    Say no more.


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