Dear Baby Cow Productions,
Having been a big fan of Saxondale (third series?) and Gavin & Stacey I’ve got an idea for a sitcom I’d like to run past you. I envisage a six episode thirty minute format run. It’s about Brian and Tony two gay dentists living and working in Rotherham, South Yorkshire called THE TOOTH FAIRIES. Timothy Biggins (hot on the heels of his jungle celebrity win) would be ideal for Tony with perhaps Ross Kemp going against stereotype in the role of Brian.
Here’s a dialogue taster for you:
SCENE, CONSULTING ROOM. TONY HAS JUST FINISHED WITH A PATIENT WHO IS STILL RECLINED IN THE DENTAL CHAIR.
TONY [PULLING OFF LATEX GLOVES]: ‘OOH, THAT WAS A NASTY ERUPTION YOU HAD THERE, MR PEACE. GOOD JOB YOU’VE GOT NO GAG REFLEX, I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF RIGHT TO THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT!’
MR PEACE, EYES WIDE AND LOOKING NERVOUS, MUMBLES SOMETHING INCOHERENT AS HE RINSES WITH MOUTH WASH.
TONY: ‘LOVELY, DEAR, JOB DONE. NOW SPIT!‘
Let me know what you think. Having been clouted ’round the back of the head with inspiration I’m banging out the first full episode this afternoon. Working title: ‘DRILLING FOR ROOT’.
I think we’ve got a winner on our hands.