Great Days Out

The Libyan National Transitional Council has announced that it has paused viewings of Colonel Gadaffi’s dead body due to warranty issues with the Beko freezer. However, they are saying that the gift shoppe is still open.

In the wake of the technical problems the NTC is pleased to announce a new deal with Wall’s Ice Cream at the Col Gaddafi Memorial Museum. The Special Edition ‘Must-haffa’ Magnum is expected to go on sale once someone finds a 13 amp fuse for the new chest freezer and the Museum’s show-piece exhibit has been re-housed…




The Wu Gang Clan

Media sources say that the world renowned Saatchi Gallery is to open a new art installation bringing the myth of Sisyphus to a modern audience. The installation will show, day after day, night after night, a man sat at a computer terminal masturbating furiously over the same two second loop of pornography for four hours. At the point of climax a door set to the side of the installation will partially open and an un-seen female (voiced by Maggie Smith) will mutter disapprovingly. The installation will then break for five minutes before starting again. The Wanker is due to open at the gallery in December. In a move similar to the Vagina Monologues, a different actor/artist is to play the eponymous hero on a revolving basis. Rumour is that the first up will be Michael Macintyre. A spokesperson has denied the choice is shameless stereotyping.