Things I hate #27

Wankers who populate online forums. These people really are twats. It doesn’t matter what the subject of the forum is, they’re out there – full weight bell ends. Whether it be Ford Anglia enthusiasts, Lancaster bomber restorers, photography know-it-alls or Bijon Frise inter-breeders, every forum is infested with supercilious, self-important knobs. These people aren’t trolls, they’re worse than that. At least a troll has the sense to know that they are a troll, these cock-knockers are oblivious to their own bell-ended-ness, too concerned to be rushing headlong with the burning need to grandstand their own supposed knowledge and erudition, like a man with imminent diarrhoea trying to find a shitter before his arse explodes like Krakatoa. Boom!

This exchange, from a Gibson guitars forum, is typical:


You then have to wade through at least three quarters of the first page of answers before you can expect a reasonable response to your query, that’s if the subject hasn’t been hi-jacked by the forum’s obligatory fucking court jester by then, cracking absolutely hilarious in jokes about the 1963 camshaft that Hillman used on the fucking Imp or some continuity error in Darth Vader’s light sabre during the Blue Ray version of The Empire Strikes Back. The subject page then deteriorates into a series of exchanges by online best pals orchestrated by Mr cunting Claypole that would make the Goons seem frigging hilarious by comparison. How much server space that could be storing online porn is wasted by these self-satisfied, anally retentive wankers? It grips my shit. Pricks.